Robin Williams – Carpe Diem, Carpe Noctem

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Robin William 1951-2014

Robin Williams the famed actor and comedian has passed at 63 years of age from a suicide.

Williams was and is the voice and face of many childhoods. In many ways he inspired hope, happiness, and compassion to millions, even I felt a twinge of my childhood darkening with his death.

Depression can kill a man just as painfully as a bullet. Depression is the eternal light flickering and fading in the recesses of a man’s mind. It can drive those to madness, and some eternally blind.

I thought suicide was an option for the meek, but Robin Williams was not a weak man. He fought addiction against cocaine and alcohol, and he himself said it made him do regrettable things. It was depression that killed him, not addiction. He was strong enough to fight off carnal urges, he relapsed and started drinking, but he knew where it took him especially drugs, and he knew he dare not gaze back into that abyss.

I don’t mean to think his death is more profound than others but understand this.

During his time of death Williams had money, a family and fame. Some regard him as selfish for suicide because he had everything he needed. I have come to find those who see him as selfish are the meek. Money and fame will not fill the gaping holes at the bottom of your heart, they may fulfill those carnal pleasures, but money does not equal happiness. I understand money means something in a first world country, but I’ve learned too much of its history and the lives of men it ruined to even think it is what is necessary in this world. Once a man can understand the value of the wisdom and beauty will money be his secondary currency.

Fame is no different from money. Robin Williams died of depression, you think he cared how famous he was? I never understood why the most famous names come from the entertainment industry. This may sound contradictory, but how do the headlines of some Hollywood actor become more important than the death of 1,000 in the Middle East or the execution of an African American in broad daylight. The Roman poet Juvenal lamented “bread and circuses”

We are not talking about Robin Williams new child or movie but his death. I find it appropriate to let a man have a moment of sorrow in this world.

Family is the most rigorous to understand, because family can be the only solace for some. Still, we do not live to act as medicine for people, nor do we live forever. Everything in the world has it’s opposite pull, a tension that people live and die for.

I might be looking into his death too much, but the world lost an influential spirit.  I’m biased because his films taught me life is rather rare and to live in society’s demand is a wasted effort. Unfortunately I’ve learned death is common among all – rich or poor, famous or infamous, black or white, lovers or cynic.

I think Williams understood all this. He understood the world. That it wasn’t fucked up from the start, the world will be however it will be. It leaves us to decide in the end after all.

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